The best friend and the foolish little brother
by MyFictionLifearts
Summary: What happened when Itachi found out about the so called one night stand between his best friend and his foolish little brother? Well let's just say...after hearing their story, things will not be the same anymore. Narusasu AU.
1. Busted!

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine...no matter how many times I wish that he exists in real life.

Warnings: Swearing. Minor yaoi.

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When Itachi introduced his best friend to Sasuke, there were no words to describe how awkward things were. Firstly, Itachi's best friend was a blonde. Not that Sasuke had anything against blondes, but this one was the same blonde that had fucked him the night before. Who would have thought that he was one of Itachi's close friends? Secondly, Itachi was smirking. Now, when the bastard he called as a brother smirked, it had never meant anything good. It had always ended up in humiliation and embarrassment for Sasuke, hence, the nickname bastard.

Sasuke had never hated Itachi more than now for Itachi had the guts to leave both of them alone in their living room while he made some tea. _Get to know each other_, he had said. Sasuke could just walk upstairs and lock himself in his room, but the fact that his brother squeezed his shoulder before he left could only mean one thing:_ go upstairs and you'll face hell tomorrow morning._ And trust me; Uchiha Sasuke had personally experienced what Itachi could do when Sasuke was being a rebel. Let's just say that it was the definition of hell.

"Um…" he snapped from thinking of ways to silently murder Itachi during his sleep when Naruto started to speak. He raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging the blonde to continue. "Wow," Naruto chuckled nervously, the kind of attitude that wasn't there when he seduced Sasuke last night. "I've got no idea, I mean, heck, the resemblance was there, but…I just – fuck, Itachi's going to kill me." Naruto groaned, rubbing a hand tiredly on his face. Had he known the guy he had an eye on for a while now was Itachi's younger brother, he wouldn't even dare to initiate anything, let alone fucking him senselessly.

Itachi was usually a calm and collected guy, but when it came to his little brother, he would do anything in his power to protect him and that included threatening the boys in an elementary school that made fun of Sasuke's duck butt hair. It wasn't like Naruto had met this little brother of Itachi that he seemed so proud of, but listening to embarrassing stories about him amused him to no ends. _Damn it Itachi, how should I know that Sasuke is your beloved brother? Yeah, sure, he looked a lot like you, but it's not like I'm going to realize it at once!_ _Besides, Sasuke is hot. How could one think straight after seeing that ass? _

Naruto took this chance to observe Sasuke. He was relaxing against the sofa, his endless obsidian eyes had never once looked away from Naruto's blue eyes. His raven haired was sticking in all directions, and Naruto couldn't help but to agree to those boys; Sasuke's hair did look like a duck's butt, but somehow, Naruto was still drawn to him. Even if Sasuke acted like a bastard every time they met, Sasuke still had this one other side that he sure no one knew – the soft, sweet and cute side that he only showed to Naruto last night. _Ha, take that Itachi!...Wait…Itachi? Itachi! _He gasped as a sudden realization dawned on him. "That's why he brought me here – no, no, no, that's why he _forced_ me to go here. He's currently planning on what to do to me. Aw shit, what have I done? Itachi is so going to fucking kill me for fucking his little brother and – "

"Hn." Sasuke simply said, yet that one sentence of indifference managed to stop Naruto from rambling. "You regretted it?" Sasuke asked nonchalantly. On the inside though, he was panicking. Itachi _knew._ The smirk, the knowing look he gave to both of them just now and the fact that he was currently making tea in the kitchen instead of getting out his knives collection and sharpened them could only mean one thing – hell is about to break loose. Uh huh…things didn't look quite good for them.

"What?" Naruto stared in disbelief at Sasuke. "Regretted it? Whoa slow down there, teme. You were amazing, okay? The way your sexy face flushed when I whispered dirty things to you, the way you were writhing underneath me, begging me, pleading me, the whimpers you let out, the way you screamed my name when you cli – "

"Shut. Up." Sasuke hissed, though his pale face turned into a light pink, no doubt remembering the hot, steamy sex they had the night before. "I didn't want to know that."

Naruto blinked for a few times, watching in fascination how Sasuke's face turned even redder the longer he stared at him. He grinned as he stood up from his seat and with a glint of mischievous look in his eyes he marched towards Sasuke. Without a warning, he pushed Sasuke further into the couch in a lying situation, causing the latter to yelp in surprise. Naruto then straddled Sasuke, taking both of his hands and pinned them above his head.

"What the hell! Dobe! Let me go!" Sasuke frowned, struggling against his hold but of no use, considering how Naruto used his whole weight to stop Sasuke from moving.

"Ne, teme…" Naruto's voice dropped a few octaves to a low, seductive and husky tone. "You look so damn fuckable right now, you know." Naruto replied, leaning forward to trace his tongue along Sasuke's jaw to the joint where the neck and shoulder met. Sasuke shuddered when Naruto began to lick and nibble on his throat, unconsciously letting out a moan when Naruto scraped his teeth on the pulse. The pleasure caused Sasuke to buck his hips, causing their hardening erections to rub against each other. He wanted more. He wanted more of Naruto, more of his touch. He wanted to feel Naruto's warm lips against his skin, to feel him inside of him once again. He wanted last night to happen again. "M-More. Naruto, _more_." He demanded, the urgency in his tone caused Naruto to unbuckle Sasuke's belt as quickly as possible and sneaked his hand underneath the jeans, palming the erection almost immediately.

"S'uke, fuck, I – "

"When I said _get to know each other_, I didn't mean getting my foolish little brother off, Naruto-kun."

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other for a second, frozen on the spot – with Naruto's hands still on Sasuke's now softening cock – and their faces were filled with indescribable fear before they were at the opposite ends of the room in a speed of lightning. Sasuke quickly fasten his zip all the while muttering colourful curse words.

"I-I-Itachi!" Naruto squeaked. There Itachi was, at the doorway, with a tray of 3 cups in his hand. He watched as Itachi walked to the living room casually as if he hadn't just witnessed his best friend feeling up his little brother. "It wasn't like t-that! I was…uh…I was – eh…"

"So your hands weren't on Sasuke's cock?" Itachi asked while putting cups of tea on the wooden table. "And Sasuke wasn't moaning like a bitch in heat?"

"Fuck you, Itachi!" Sasuke glared at Itachi for that blunt statement, leaning against the nearest wall to calm down his erratic heartbeats and the mess he was in.

Itachi raised an eyebrow in return before calmly said, "I believe Naruto-kun had already done that. Take a seat, both of you." It wasn't a 'you-may-or-may-not-sit' kind of request, it was strictly a demand. Gulping, Naruto walked over to Sasuke and dragged him to sit in front of Itachi. There was no way Naruto was gonna face this alone. If he was going down, then Sasuke was going down too. "So tell me," Itachi murmured, pausing as he took a sip from his cup. "How did you two meet?" it was a simple question, yet both Naruto and Sasuke found it hard to answer. Plus, the fact that Itachi had this creepy smile and a seemingly dark aura around him didn't make things any better.

Once again, Naruto and Sasuke exchanged a look. Sasuke 'hn-ed' then crossed his arms across his chest and looked away. Naruto sighed, knowing that he had to be the one to tell Itachi. "Well…"


	2. Pokemon pick up lines

Wow. I'd never thought you guys would love this! I really appreciate all those reviews, favourites and follows that you guys have done. THANK YOU! Well...I hope you will like this chapter as well. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If only having a Naruto plushie would mean me having a right on Naruto...

Warning: Swearing. Inappropriate pick up lines. Umm a lil bit of "grabbing"?

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(Flashback)

"Isn't all great Pokemon Masters start from having one Pokemon before going through all those adventurous journeys? Baby, you and me, we could be the world's greatest Pokemon Master _ever_." Sasuke's eyes twitched from the_ very _disastrous pickup lines he had ever heard in his entire life, not knowing why he had even agreed to go to Starbucks in the first place. Why the heck was he wasting his time here instead of studying for his mid-term examinations? Why the heck was he here, drinking a coffee leisurely, with an unknown blonde stranger who tried to hit on him instead of brooding in a corner of his room?

Oh right, because Haruno Sakura promised to keep his fans at bay if he came to this stupid ass "tea party" and Sakura was known for always keeping her promises – well, at least he knew this personally since he had been friends with the said girl for years already. _Though if I knew that this idiot was to come…I'd probably rather stay at home._

"Seriously Naruto?!" Sakura sighed, just inches away from doing the face-palm thing. "I brought the guy you've had wet dreams of for nights and that's the best pickup lines you can ever think of? _Pokemon Masters_? How does that even relate to – urgh, just, gosh, what are you – "

"Excuse me?" Sasuke's surprised voice managed to keep everyone within hearing distance to freeze in shock. Not because hearing him talking was rare, but because of the dangerous glint in his eyes that screamed bloody murder to everyone who dared to stare. "Care to explain, Haruno?"

"Eh?" she smiled bashfully, all the while trying to figure out ways to get through the day without getting killed. Something was terribly wrong when Sasuke started to call her by her last name. "Did I just blurt something wrong?" An eerie silence served as her only answer. She gulped, choosing to stare at Naruto who was sitting a little too close for comfort next to Sasuke in order to escape the usual Uchiha's death glare. "W-Well, um…remember when we went out for lunch with Kiba and the others the other day? Well, how do I say this…Naruto was there too. Not with us, obviously, but he was passing by when he saw us. Um…let's just say…according to him, it was love at first sight. And since he's my neighbor and all…I might have…eh…told him that you're…gay…?" She cringed when Sasuke's eyes turned menacing before they crossed path with blue eyes.

To say that Sasuke found Naruto not appealing would be a blatant lie. Uzumaki Naruto had an amazing pair of blue eyes, the kind of color that put the morning sky to shame. He had three whiskered marks on both of his cheeks, causing him to look slightly like a fox, but somehow, that only made him even more charming. Now that Sasuke looked at him carefully, he noticed that Naruto's hair colour was one of that buttery, golden-ish blonde and it seemed so soft that he couldn't help but to have the urge to run his fingers through it. His hair was a mess, that was for sure, what with those spikes that stood up in all directions, but somehow that only made him look even more adorable.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura's voice interrupted Sasuke's train of thoughts. A horror realization suddenly dawned on him. _Did I really just say this moron look adorable?! _He shook his head, trying to clear his mind from further thoughts of Naruto.

"You're such a good catch, Sasuke," Naruto moved his chair to sit even more close to Sasuke, causing him to raise an eyebrow at Naruto at his bold move. "I think I'll use my only master ball on you."

That managed to cause Sasuke to snort. "Dobe, your pickup lines suck terribly."

"Oh I can suck well, alright." Naruto replied cheekily, smiling from ear to ear upon seeing the frozen look on Sasuke's face. Apparently, he didn't expect that kind of comeback. "Okay teme, let me rephrase my words. You know, I've got some amazing legendary Pokemon lying down here," he paused for a while, pointing his fingers down towards his crotch. "Wanna try touching it? You know, just to see how truly legendary it is?"

Fear. Fear for her life for being the one to invite Sasuke. Fear for giving into Naruto when he said that he wanted to meet "the guy who had a sexy ass and a gloomy handsome face" once more. That was what Sakura was feeling the moment those words were out of Naruto's mouth. And here she thought that Naruto was serious when he said that he had fallen in love at first sight. "Naruto, you stupid idiot! You can't just say that and – " Azu's For You ringtone rang throughout the café. Begrudgingly, Sakura took out her hand phone and answered the phone call. With a heavy heart, she let out a sigh and glared at Naruto before trudging to the door to have a call in private. Her glare said it all, _please behave, Naruto._

Sasuke, on the other hand, was impressed. He smirked before he leaned forward, whispering so that only Naruto could hear what he was talking about. "Is that a Sudowoodo in your pocket or are you just happy to see me, _Na-ru-to_?"

"Oh fuck." Naruto cursed upon listening to that velvety seductive voice and before he could react, one of Sasuke's hands went underneath the round table and caressing his inner thigh. He shuddered in delight, enjoying the way Sasuke's hand began to slowly moving up….and up…and up…._just a little bit_, Naruto thought as he closed his eyes. _That's right, just keep going up…and up…and_…..and then the hand suddenly disappeared. "Teme!" Naruto groaned in disappointment, glaring at Sasuke for giving him a hard time now. Sakura was right – Sasuke_ is_ a bastard! What was he going to do with this growing erection? It wasn't like he can just jerk off in this café's bathroom!

Sasuke grinned evilly as he relaxed into his chair. Now this was what he called as fun. Tormenting someone and causing them misery. Yes, this was what life should be for Uchiha Sasuke. He might as well enjoy the tortured look on Naruto's face now.

"Okay, fine Teme! Two can play this game!" Naruto said with a renew determination. Without further ado, he put on his most charming look. By the look of those playful eyes, Sasuke should have known what was coming, yet it didn't occur to him that Naruto was that brave. "Ne S'uke," Naruto purred, his hands instantly squeezed Sasuke's clothed dick, causing the latter to yelp in surprise at the totally unexpected move. Sure Sasuke did initiate it, but that didn't mean he wanted his dick to be grabbed and stroked in return. In public, nonetheless. Where school girls and grown up men and women were present. "I really wanna see your 'Squirtle' squirt. Should be amazing, eh?" Sasuke scowled at him, trying to pry his hands off of him but to no avail when Naruto began to squeeze it even harder. "I'd like to leech my seeds into you too."

"Yeah?" Sasuke muttered, looking thoroughly bored though he was currently gritting his teeth. He then looked straight at Naruto in the eyes and with calm, deadly tone, he said, "I'd like to bury you six feet under the ground too. Should be amazing to see those dirt and blood on your body, eh?" Naruto stopped all his movements in disbelief and shock and Sasuke took this chance to stomp on Naruto's foot. Sasuke smirked as Naruto screamed in pain, before he stood up and left the café in those arrogant and cool strides of his.

Naruto sighed, rubbing a hand tiredly on his face. He couldn't help but to sit and wondering what went wrong. "I mean, Pokemon pickup lines are always amazing, aren't they?"

(End of flashback)

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"Oh wow." Itachi murmured indifferently, no less different than when he asked them to sit down earlier. "Uzumaki Naruto is the ultimate pervert, isn't he?" He continued in a monotone voice. How can one say that without a hint of amazement or frustration? He just said it like he was talking about today's weather, like it was nothing big that his best friend had publicly grabbed his brother's dick. Well, that was what Naruto would like to think…if only Itachi didn't take out his knives collection and finally sharpened them right in front of Naruto and Sasuke. "Would you like an apple, Uzumaki?"

Uh huh. Apparently Uchihas had a habit of calling someone by their last names when they were pissed.

"Yes?" he answered uncertainly, elbowing Sasuke to get his attention. "Am I going to die tonight?" he whispered, a little bit shaky, I might add.

"Probably."

"Or would you like me to chop off your balls?" Itachi asked once again, this time staring straight into those alarmed blue eyes.

"Eep!" Naruto panicked as he quickly put his hands in front of his precious parts, shaking his head intensely. "Itachi, are you freaking serious?"

Itachi only sneered in return. "Depends on what happens next in your story." He then sat back on the couch with his knives pleasantly spread out on the table - an obvious warning to Naruto;_ one wrong word and you'll lose your balls as soon as you've finished the story._ "Spill. Now."

_Uh huh…I'm in trouble. _


End file.
